I know I’m a little bit of a “compartmentalist”, but for the sake of structure of my thoughts let’s say we can fit people into three categories in regards to dogs.  The lovers; the non-lovers; and the indifferent. 

I couldn’t say I’ve ever loved dogs.  Never had too much of an opinion.  I’ve had fun buying my Aunt Clare’s pugs ridiculous Halloween costumes and even went as far as to get them matching corduroy vests one year.  They were always cute from a distance and that suited me just fine.  We didn’t have a dog growing up and they were always someone else’s affectionate but very large chore to me.  So, though it’s been evolving slowly over the years, I have recently shifted from the indifferent category.  I am sad to say I have become…. a non-lover.  But not quite the kind you may think.  It’s of the owner variety.  I mean you’re still never going to see me following anything around in the freezing rain with a plastic bag, but my pet issues are definitely human-related.

So who cares what I think?? 

Well… that’s precisely my point.  MUCH more than half of the people I know, or have met, with dogs don’t.  Don’t care that they keep my kids up too late on a regular basis with barking, or wake one of my infants up from an all too precious nap.  I’ve had a dog destroy my bed of freshly bloomed tulips, walk on my wet freshly painted deck, defecate in my yard, wander into my house trashing my bathroom - giving me a heart attack upon discovery.  They’ve terrorized my kids on their bikes in our street, while playing in the backyard, front yard, the beach and our neighborhood.  The latest however was the crowning jewel.  My daughter had her best friend over for a much anticipated sleepover.  After dinner they were playing out front.  Through the sheer playroom curtain I could see Jessie’s silhouette… just as it happened.  In a split second a large dog was standing in front of her with its paws on her shoulders.  The squeals of excitement from a rigorous game of tag suddenly turned to blood curdling terror.  The next two minutes were a blur.  My husband and I got the kids in the house and flagged the owner down to point out where the dog was ambushing our family. 

Now take away the fact that it took me over ten minutes to calm down dog-loving Jessica enough for her to stop shaking in my arms.  Ignore the fact that my kids, though it’s been a week, will not play outside in our yard without my husband or I there on ‘dog patrol’.  Forget that this is the same dog that ransacked my tulips one day into their first year of bloom.  What got me the most was the man without the leash.  As he sauntered through our neighbor’s back yard on his way towards the front of our houses, horrifying screams still cutting through the air; he had no expression on his face.  I was waving him anxiously towards his pet and he only slightly straightened his course without a glimpse of stress or speed.  As he blankly walked past me, in exasperation I told him this was “not ok, it can’t happen again, they’re terrified”.  One “I’ve got him” in a low voice was all I got in return.  No apology.  No look of regret.  No eye contact. 

Sadly, I’m not surprised, put out, but not surprised.  We live in a ‘dog’s rule’ world as of late and for me it’s getting old.  I know I’d love my dog if I ever got one.  I get that part.  What I don’t get is how anyone could value their dog over another person.  Another person’s comfort, fear, or well being.  Or be under the delusion that anyone else loves their dog like they do.

Here’s what I’m going to do and what I’m not going to do.  I’m probably not going to call the police, animal control or the golf club (where he walks the dog daily behind our house) to rat him out.  Though I would be within my rights as this is private property and we have leash laws here.  What I am going to do is call him.  He lives in my neighborhood and as uncomfortable as it might be for me I’m going to ask him to come over.  I’m going to have him bring the dog.  The best thing for my kids would be to meet their predator and hopefully get to pet him and feel less afraid.  The best thing for me is if this stops the dog from coming in my yard and gives his owner a good dose of perspective and I’ll admit it… embarrassment.  Maybe I’ll feel better. –Maybe.

I guess I’m asking… no pleading… to all the owners and lovers out there:  please think about your neighbors, visiting friends, and little children wherever you go.  There are more non-lovers and nervous people than you may have guessed.  Not many of us want to see your dog in a store, at the beach or hear them… pretty much, ever.  It doesn’t matter if you think he’s “friendly”, its rude and unsettling to have a strange dog run at you.  That’s why there are leashes.  We’re not in love with your dog.  You are, and that’s great.  Even if he’s cute I don’t want to be licked by him, smell him or peel sandy kids off my leg at the beach as he comes bounding towards us.  We don’t want to not like you.  We don’t want to be…. what some of you have made us – annoyed.  It’s not your dog’s fault.  Like the misbehaving toddler… the parent’s are responsible for the behavior.

I know this is a sensitive one for sure.  And I do have a few friends that are more than accommodating in regards to their pets.  It’s much appreciated.  My intent is to make owners think and be considerate to the people around them.  I want the chance to like your dog the way you do.  My sincerest hope is that at least one more dog will be brought in at night or leashed when outside its yard. You can make it easy for us to smile when we see you coming our way.

By Emily Loverin

Emily Loverin is our creative go-to-girl.  Her column Everything-Emily incorporates projects from fine arts to crafts and always keeps even the smallest designers in mind.  She is a Scituate native where she currently lives with her husband Marc, and their three children Addison, Charlie and Jake.  Visit EVERYTHING EMILY to learn more about her services, featuring full service interior design, planning of events, house staging, mural painting, invitations & graphic design.