The first 568 days went off without a hitch.  Day-to-day, hour-to-hour, my daughter was simply a joy.  Recently something began to change.  Sure I heard of the terrible twos, but had passed it off as a myth, the Bermuda Triangle of child development.  Now to quote Davey Jones...'I'm a believer'.

Don't get me wrong, this is as much fun and rewarding as ever, just with new challenges.  Overnight, her vocabulary now includes a defiant 'NO', a mocking, 'Oh Daddy', and I think she made a motion yesterday for me to 'talk to the hand'. 

Riley is yet to turn two and couldn't be bothered with the Little Einsteins or Tigger and Pooh.  They have been replaced with The Wizards of Waverly Place and Hannah Montana.  SHE IS 22 MONTHS OLD!  What chance do I have when she is 15?

I'm getting better though.  You know the slinky back trick?  The gymnastics maneuver employed by toddlers to avoid being strapped in the car seat.  This was paternal kryptonite.  We could be stuck in a Shaw's parking lot for hours.  Formerly, I would go back in the market, start all over, and pray for a better result on the way out.  Now, I'm winning 50% of these tests of wills...a somewhat disheartening percentage when you consider I outweigh her by 170 pounds.

Next, we've begun bartering.  Just the other day, while driving I looked in the mirror and saw she had captured my cell phone.

'Riley' I commanded, 'Give Daddy his cell phone.'  'NO' was the answer.  More sternly I baritoned, 'Riley!', while reaching back for the phone.  She smiled and posted this potential business arrangement...'M&M's?'.  Translation:  Hand back some M&M's and we have a deal, if not the phone gets it!'  I was amidst a perverse hostage crisis with a baby and had no leverage.  I gave in and handed back the M&M's.  She kept the phone, smiled, and then chucked it into the back of the SUV.  I thought I was really good at this.  I have A LOT to learn.

She now knows over 20 words in sign language...at home that is.  You take her in public and ask her, 'How do you sign play?' and I get Michigan J. Frog.  A silent child, thumb in mouth, and adults questioning my sanity.  That's OK, even if it's our little secret.  How could she not be flawed in some ways?  I'm her dad.

All those tantrum-free, sleep for 12 hours at a time months have gone away.  Is this temporary?  I have no way of knowing.  That's what is great about all of this...the unpredictability.

By Greg Coyne

Gregory Coyne of Marshfield is the Director of Operations at Barneys New York, as well as a writer, golfer, and dad to Riley.