The Beach Issue!
Summer is in FULL SWING, which means we are in vacation mode...
It's 5:00 Somewhere!
Welcome to the July/August issue of South Shore Woman!!
We are enjoying the final weeks of summer by trying new things (Stand Up Paddle Surfing), making new recipes (Prime Rib Potato Salad), going to new restaurants (Beachfire), wearing new jewelry (SeaLore Designs), and meeting new people (Spit Dudes).
We (as in Emily) are also thinking about some Hot Topics around being a mom, while Erin is sharing her reflective, insightful review of the timeless tale "Gift from the Sea". Meanwhile, Diane tells her own story about kids' graduations and the uninvited guests (bats) that came into the house to celebrate with the family.
Keep clicking back onto the SSW site before September. We'll be updating this "Beach Issue" with more things to do and talk about!
Cheers!
Steph and Tracy
Errands, Etcetera's Healthy Recipe Contest
Errands, Etcetera is a full service errand and event planning company specializing in giving the gift of time. Owner Stacy Mafera has a laundry list of things she’ll do including organizing, shopping, courier services, dog walking, and yes, even laundry!
Dinner preparation and delivery is also on her To-Do list for you. She’s looking for some healthy new recipes to share with her clients. Here’s her pitch:
“I will be bringing back the weekly menus in the month of September, and I'm looking for your favorite dinner items! Send me your most popular, loved, or passed down recipe and you could win a free dinner for two (including delivery!). One entry per recipe-- winner will be announced in the October Newsletter!”
Send Stacy your ideas at: StacyM@ErrandsEtcetera.biz
We Love!,
Beachfire Restaurant & Bar
We had heard about the grand opening of this restaurant just a few weeks ago, but we weren’t quite sure where this place was or what to expect. Just the name alone sounded so good, though, so we had to go.
We headed to Hull not knowing where we were going to land, but there it stood directly to the right on the main drag--- not a lot of looking required. Situated in a corner at the start of Nantasket Beach, Beachfire is the old Ocean Club. Now, under new---young—ownership, there truly is a cool energy here.
We were welcomed by a friendly hostess, who passed us onto the ‘patio hostess’, who sat us at a nice table overlooking the beach. Just a few yards behind us was a fire pit, not yet functional, but by next week, we were told, it would be totally lit up. There’s an outside bar and there will be bands--- mostly acoustical--- and fires every night, the servers say, as the new owner has some ‘great ideas’. Well, so far so good.
As for the food: The mozzarella and tomato salad starter was not so great, a little limp and light on the mozzarella and tomato. But the rest was really good. Swordfish with a delicate salsa on top was my entrée--- and cooked just right. My dinner companion got the lobster linguine special, garnished with mussels, which he says, was superb. We finished with the homemade cookie ice cream sandwich.
The service was awesome. The staff is friendly, hard-working, and generally happy to be there (if you have to serve dinner to strangers all night, having a great view helps, I guess).
As the sun almost completely set and the sky turned dark, the accent lights on the patio provided a nice, relaxing, atmosphere. “It definitely doesn’t feel like we're in Hull,” my friend said.
As we wrapped up the night we decided WE truly did LOVE this place….And then my friend said, oh, so casually, “Hey, a skunk.”
I laughed, trying to be polite, not really knowing what he was talking about.
“No,” he said, pointing over the table, “a skunk, right there.”
And, so it goes. A nice dinner with a little surprise.
We gracefully got up, trying not to draw the attention of our new furry friend or the other patrons, and found our server to pay our bill. We told her about the visitor, and, much to our surprise, her reply was: “I hear he doesn’t bother anyone.”
Apparently, skunky is a regular.
Overall, we say it’s worth it--- skunk and all (he's friendly).
Go see for yourself. And, if you’re not brave enough to sit on the patio after dark, Beachfire has a great bar---inside. No skunks allowed!
View from the patio!
AppeTeasers,
Appeteaser
--16 oz. of any kind of steak grilled medium rare to medium (or whatever)....Even a left over steak grilled the night before.
--Cut into bite size pieces
--6- to-10 boiled potatoes, cut into pieces and chilled
-- 1 onion chopped, 1 red pepper chopped (or green or yellow), some chopped garlic. All sautéed in olive oil
--Some oregano, thyme, sage, rosemary and fennel seed (all or any combination of 2 or 3fresh chopped or dry)
Toss meat, potatoes, onion , red pepper, garlic and herbs with a little olive oil.
Add mayonnaise, salt and pepper to taste.
This would work with rice or pasta.
Remember to be creative and uninhibited, it’s your summer!!!
About Us,
Let SSW Promote Your Business!
SouthShoreWoman.com writes about the local people who follow their passion and build new economic opportunities in our communities. But, whether you have started a popular jewelry line, have an established retail store or restaurant, or offer a unique service, you will always need to reach new customers.
SSW, an online magazine, serves as the perfect venue for businesses that want to go a bit beyond their town borders. Let us help you get your message to the masses by being your vehicle into the larger world of social media.
Our affordable promotional packages give you an advertisement on SSW, plus a presence on Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn. In addition to getting directly in front of our audience (there are over a thousand South Shore readers-- that we know of), your business will also be exposed to many of the 750 million Facebook users, 100 million Twitter users, and over 100 million LinkedIn members.
Let's put it this way: Print advertising is dead. Social media is the surest way to gain new customers in this Internet age. Yes, we know, you are running a business! You don't have time to tweet and post all day....
We want you to continue to grow and become social media savvy. Let us help!
We offer three packages that appeal to your needs and budget:
Packages: |
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Standard |
Basic |
*Advertisement |
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Sidebar 1 (300 pixels wide) graphic OR video (**including link to your website) |
Either the Sidebar 2 (120 pixels wide) or the Footer (728x90 pixels) graphic (**including link to your website) |
Sponsor e-mail |
A dedicated e-mail blast to SSW subscribers (about 1,000 members) |
A dedicated e-mail blast to SSW subscribers (about 1,000 members) |
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-Creation of a Twitter handle for your business-Multiple Tweets/day from your business handle and @SoShoWo-Community building through “follows” and “lists” |
Multiple Tweets/ week about your business from @SoShoWo |
One Tweet/week about your business from @SoShoWo |
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-Creation of a FB page for your business-Multiple posts/day on your page and outreach to community to ‘Like’ your page-Multiple mentions and links to your fan page and website on SoShoWo FB page |
One mention/week about your business on the SSW FB page |
A couple of mentions/month of your business on the SSW FB page |
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Weekly mention of your business within groups that target your customers |
Multiple mentions/month of your business within groups that target your customers |
One mention of your business within a group that targets your customers |
SSW story |
If SSW has already done a story on your business, we will update it (text or embed video) and put it on the SSW home page as well as link to it on Facebook and Twitter |
If SSW has already done a story on your business, we will link to the archived article on our Facebook page and Twitter, and write a short update to tell our audience what you are up to now |
If SSW has already done a story on your business, we will link to the archived article on our Facebook page and Twitter |
Reporting
PRICE |
At the end of the month you will receive a report on all SM activity and results$750/month |
At the end of the month you will receive a report on all SM activity and results$500/month |
At the end of the month you will receive a report on all SM activity and results$250/month |
**Don't have a website? We can build one for you. Contact us for more information.
*And, if you don't have an advertisement ready to go, we'd be happy to create one for you! (Monthly prices do not include $100 fee for ads created by SSW.)
For more information contact:
Tracy Coyne at dtcoyne@comcast.net (781) 413-6508
or,
Stephanie Neil at stephanieneil@comcast.net (781) 378-1652
We Love!,
SPitDUDes
It kind of started as a joke….But all great ideas do, don’t they?
Andy White just wanted some kind of representation of the place he loves to take his boat to during the summer. But there were no souvenir shops on this stretch of beachy Scituate paradise known as “The Spit”. So he made his own shirts.
You’ve probably seen them: Those 'Spit Permit' shirts that almost everyone with a skiff on the South Shore has.
Now, he’s also got sweatshirts, hats, windbreakers (coming soon), bracelets---oh, and barbecue sauce and hickory smoking chips (for those of you hauling the hibachi out on the Boston Whaler).
Established in 2008, it’s safe to say that SPitDUDes Beach and BBQ is close to an overnight success.
White is selling product in a couple of stores, including Humming Rock Gifts in Marshfield, Egypt Country Store in Scituate, and some stuff in Hairway to Heaven in Norwell. And, with the 2010 launch of the “Paragon Park” memorabilia merchandise, shirts are also being sold in the Paragon Carousel Gift Shop in Hull. You can also find the SPitDUDes’ stuff at Heritage Days in Scituate this weekend…So come on down!
The SpitDudes website is where you can shop online, get tide charts, or read Andy’s blog. More importantly, SPitDUDes give back. A portion of the proceeds of "The Spit" product line goes back to the North/South River Watershed Association. And, a portion of the Paragon Park sales will support the Paragon Carousel, which is going into its 84th year of operation!
Joke or no joke, it’s ‘good stuff’.
From South Shore Woman to the SPitDUDes, we say, Congrats!
Local Spotlight,
SeaLore Designs
When Michelle Murphy was a little girl, she’d string together some beads and give it to her mom to shop around. Her mom would “sell” her little girl’s creations and give Michelle some money. Funny, Michelle still has some of her very first bead creations sitting on her display shelf. (Her mom must have bought the jewels back ;-)
Today, this registered nurse and mom of five is creating again. Her full line of hand-made jewelry including earrings, bracelets necklaces, lariats, anklets, rings, and specialty pieces (from jewelry boxes to mirrors)are being sold--- not by her mother--- but by several stores on the South Shore (see below for a full listing of retail outlets) as well as through her online store http://www.etsy.com/shop/sealoredesigns?page=1.
Michelle’s designs, ranging in price from $50 to $400, are inspired by nature and the sea in particular, she says. She gets her ideas from nature’s colors, like a sunset, the ocean, or seashells. In fact, the name SeaLore comes from a poem, “Call of the Sea”, that Michelle wrote while sitting on the beach with her kids.
“It’s a connection that I carry through to the designs,” Michelle says.
She uses stones and gems that have healing properties, including coral, carnelian, peridot, amethyst, pearls, citrine, kyanite, aventurine, turquoise, sea glass, and chalcedony (her most requested stone). In addition, Michelle makes Braille necklaces that are inscribed with inspiring messages, be it “Embrace” or “Hope”, or the quotes of Helen Keller: “Keep your face to the sunshine and you cannot see the shadow”.
Michelle gives 20% of the proceeds from the Braille necklaces to the Perkins School for the Blind in Watertown, MA. To that end, Michelle will commission designs to support specific causes or charities. Following the Haiti earthquake, for example, Michelle designed a line of jewelry for which 20% of the proceeds will benefit Partners In Health and the CRUDEM foundation (supporting the Haitian healthcare facility).
She puts her energy into helping others while taking care of her large family, and that is why Michelle is an inspiration, as well. After a car accident a few years ago in which she injured her back and had to leave her nursing job, she began making jewelry again---just as gifts. Then she took a refresher class, built a web presence, shopped her items around, and now, she has a full workshop in her home.
“I didn’t realize I was artistic,” she says. “But [the business] took on a life of its own. The people in my life moved me in this direction,” she says.
Kind of like a call of the sea…..
“Call of the Sea”
The Pull of the Sea
The Echo of the Waves
Hear it Calling It Beckons
Come
Press Your Feet into the Sand
Feel the Ocean Encompass
As it Reaches for Land
It is the Lore of the Sea
--MLM---
Where to buy SeaLore Designs:
SpaScape – Scituate and Mattapoisett
The Clothes Line - Scituate
Harbor Light Toy - Scituate
Mermaids – Duxbury
DragonFly – Marshfield
Christopher’s – Scituate
Lebaron Hills CC – Lakeville
Marshfield Hills General
Local Spotlight,
Surf's Up
If you live on the South Shore and you haven’t heard of Stand Up Paddle surfing, it’s clear you’ve been holed up in your house too long this summer and it is time to get to the beach!
Seriously, Stand Up Paddle (SUP) is all the rage, mainly because you don’t have to be a skilled surfer to do it. This sport is for anyone who has some balance, a little coordination, and a love of the water.
SUP started in the 1960s in Hawaii where locals would stand on their long boards and paddle out to take pictures of tourists learning to surf. Within the last decade, however, SUP became an alternative way to train while the surf was down. Now, it has become its own sport, which is basically surfing without the wave.
“It’s not dangerous,” says Bobby Fenton, owner of East Coast Hui Surf & Stand Up Paddle Tours in Scituate, noting that while “any water sport has an element of danger, paddling is done in a more controlled environment that takes place on flat water,” he says.
Of course, in the open ocean it can get choppy, so before you go out and buy the board (ranging in price from $800-to-$2,000) and the paddle ($100-to-$400), take a lesson and rent a board for $60 an hour from East Coast Hui (ECH). You are guaranteed your money’s worth as Fenton, a patient and professional instructor, has been surfing since he was 10 years old. He’s lived on the west coast, he rode the big waves in Hawaii, and he has surfed competitively around the world. But Scituate is home for Bobby and his wife Tina, so this is where they are raising their ‘hui’. (Hui, in Hawaiian, loosely means ‘family’ or ‘clan’.)
The Fentons quickly make you feel like family, too: With their easy-going encouragement, this South Shore Woman was ready to get on that board! But, because I was a beginner, and the waves were a bit rough that day, we decided to take to the calm waterways on the back side of Peggotty beach.
As instructed, I started out on my knees, using the enormous paddle to work my way through the water. It felt very much like kayaking. But then you stand up. There is definitely a technique and a skill associated with paddling, which is why it is recommended that you take lessons before launching yourself out there on the water.
Bobby has had to use his own board to tow many of his students in because they were getting swept too far out to sea, he says. And, aside from understanding the elements of your surroundings, there are also things to know about how your positioning will influence the way the board responds in the water, as well as different paddle strokes that you can use to control the board better.
SUP gives you a great overall workout that you can feel mostly in your upper arms and core, but your legs, too, are firmly planted to hold your stance. It also gives you a new view of the water and your surroundings. You’ll see things (fish in the water or incoming swells) that you wouldn’t see while sitting in a kayak or lying on a board.
Once you are comfortable maneuvering the board, don’t stop at lessons. Bobby also offers paddle tours around the cliffs and Scituate harbor. So, before summer ends we recommend you give Bobby a call, and give SUPing a try!
Bobby Fenton
617-548-7988
Or, become a Fan of East Coast Hui Surf & Stand Up Paddle Tours on Facebook!
About Us,
SSW in the Air-CLICK HERE TO HEAR
Tracy Coyne and Stephanie Neil, co-founders of SouthShoreWoman.com, were recently guests on Teri Sica's talk show "Discovering Authenticity". The two talk about friendship, starting a business, and what SSW can do for you. Take a listen!
Here's the link: http://www.959watd.com/discoveringauthenticity/DiscoveringAuthenticityShow29.mp3
More WATD/SSW interviews:
11/20/2010: Jay Cole, owner of Riva restaurant recently sat down with Teri to talk about starting a business and being SSW's Male Muse. Tune in here: http://www.959watd.com/discoveringauthenticity/DiscoveringAuthenticityShow34.mp3
And, to read Jay's Male Muse columns, click here! http://southshorewoman.com/author/jay-cole
12/4/2010: Stephanie Neil talks with Teri about turning challenges into opportunities and the life lessons along the way. http://www.959watd.com/discoveringauthenticity/DiscoveringAuthenticityShow36.mp3
Members,
B2B
SSW Business Members
(Click on the company name to read their stories here on SSW, then visit their websites to learn more about these local companies.)
FOOD (Restaurant, Catering, and Personal Chef Services)
Beach Fire Restaurant, Hull
http://www.beachfirehull.com/
Riva Restaurant, Scituate
www.rivarestaurant.net
Jay Cole, Owner
The Fieldston Restaurant, Marshfield
http://www.thefieldston.com/
Jan Perrin, Owner
JennaCAKES
Jenna.perette@yahoo.com
Jenna Perette, Owner
Scarlet Oak Tavern, Hingham
www.scarletoaktavern.com
Jed and Josh Webber, Owners
Aoyama, Marshfield
781-837-6990
The Chef’s Table
http://www.thechefstableonline.com/index.html
Mark and Julie Ellis, Owners
Fruit Center Marketplace
http://www.fruitcentermarketplace.com/
Oro Restaurant, Scituate
www.ororestaurant.com
Jill and Robin King, Owners
Orta Restaurant, Pembroke
www.ortarestaurant.com
Jimmy Burke and Joanie Wilson, Owners
Beach Plum Baking Company
http://www.beachplumbaking.com
Jennifer Love, Owner
Barker Tavern, Scituate
www.barkertavern.com
Savor: A Personal Chef Service
www.savorathome.com
Meghan Haney, Personal Chef & Owner
Darlene Calcagno, Personal Chef & Owner
781-878-9700
Joanie Wilson, Owner
SPECIALTY SHOPS
Harborlight Toy Company
146 Front Street (Welch Company Bldg), Scituate
781-544-5487, website coming soon!
Jerry & Kelly Burke, Owners
Almar Building and Remodeling
Allison Quinn Guido, General Manager
781-826-2577
Hingham Sewing School
Alexis Kletjian
617-549-6755
APPAREL/ACCESSORIES
Sealore Designs
http://www.etsy.com/shop/sealoredesigns?page=1
Michelle Murphy, Owner
Roaring Stones
http://www.roaringstones.com/
Casey Kerr, Owner
SpitDudes
http://spitpermit.com/
Andy White, Owner
Crystals n Pearls
http://www.crystalsnpearls.com/
Carolyn Cattaneo, Owner
Boot Chic
www.bootchic.com
Kim O’Connor, Owner
Babushka Style
http://www.babushkastyle.com/
Rebecca Pimentel, Owner
Ring by Ring Designs
Bev Carlson, Jewelry Designer
FASHION/STYLE
Ready Set Style
Eva Gaiardelli, Owner/Fashion Stylist
eva@readysetstyle.com; 617-433-8295
Tracey Leahy, Owner
Charlotte & Company, Hairstylists & Makup Artists
Charlotte Phinney, Owner
Mary Kay
Shakira Perry, Independent Beauty Consultant
617-653-6796
FUN
East Coast Hui
http://www.eastcoasthui.com/Home.html
Bobby Fenton
HEALTH/FITNESS/SPA
Stacey Shipman, Feel Good Living
http://staceyshipman.com/
Stacey Shipman, Owner
A Healthy Balance
http://www.ahealthybalancenutrition.com/home.html
Nikki Tierney, Owner
Mariposa Body Massage and Therapy
http://www.mariposabody.com/
Cindy Doody, Owner
Healthy Options
http://www.healthyoptionscoaching.com/
Sheela Calhoun, Owner
Perpetual Motion
Jennifer McGilvray, owner
Dolce Med Spa & Boutique
www.DolceMed.com
Tracey Lively, President/Owner
781-792-0919
Spa-tique Day Spa
781-837-1850
South Shore Healing Center
Martha Tassinari, PT/CST
781-934-0100



ART/DESIGN
Cut River Gallery
www.cutrivergallery.com
Chris Lewis, Owner
Hawkmoon Studio
www.hawkmoonstudio.com
Michael Coyne, Owner
Everything Emily
www.everythingemily.com
Emily Loverin, Owner
Interiors by Daryce
http://www.interiorsbydaryce.com/home.html
Daryce Morris, Owner
SERVICES/Personal & Business
JKC Design
www.jkcdesign.com
Jada Coyne, Owner
Errands Etcetera
http://www.errandsetcetera.biz/
Stacy Mafera, Owner
South Shore Skin Center
www.southshoreskincenter.com
Fastteks
We travel to home or business for all computer services.
www.fastteks.com
Concierge Service
Gennie Litchfield Murphy & Chrissy Sladen McCormack, Owners
www.adminsanderrands.com
Members,
B2B
Stay tuned for online networking opportunities coming soon!
South Shore Businesses
FOOD
Beach Fire Restaurant, Hull
http://www.beachfirehull.com/
Riva Restaurant, Scituate
www.rivarestaurant.net
Jay Cole, Owner
The Fieldston Restaurant, Marshfield
http://www.thefieldston.com/
Jan Perrin, Owner
JennaCAKES
Jenna.perette@yahoo.com
Jenna Perette, Owner
Scarlet Oak Tavern, Hingham
www.scarletoaktavern.com
Jed and Josh Webber, Owners
Aoyama, Marshfield
781-837-6990
The Chef’s Table
http://www.thechefstableonline.com/index.html
Mark and Julie Ellis, Owners
Fruit Center Marketplace
http://www.fruitcentermarketplace.com/
Oro Restaurant, Scituate
www.ororestaurant.com
Jill and Robin King, Owners
Orta Restaurant, Pembroke
www.ortarestaurant.com
Jimmy Burke and Joanie Wilson, Owners
Beach Plum Baking Company
http://www.beachplumbaking.com/Beach_Plum/Welcome.html
Jennifer Love, Owner
Barker Tavern, Scituate
www.barkertavern.com
Front Street Gourmet
Terri Martini, Owner
FASHION
Sealore Designs
http://www.etsy.com/shop/sealoredesigns?page=1
Michelle Murphy, Owner
Roaring Stones
http://www.roaringstones.com/
Casey Kerr, Owner
SpitDudes
http://spitpermit.com/
Andy White, Owner
Crystals n Pearls
http://www.crystalsnpearls.com/
Carolyn Cattaneo, Owner
Earth Tones Salon
www.earthtonessalon.com
Tracey Leahy, Owner
The Pipeline Salon
www.pipelinesalon.com
Tanya Zucker, Owner
Boot Chic
www.bootchic.com
Kim O’Connor, Owner
Babushka Style
http://www.babushkastyle.com/
Rebecca Pimentel, Owner
FUN
East Coast Hui
http://www.eastcoasthui.com/Home.html
Bobby Fenton
HEALTH/FITNESS
Stacey Shipman, Feel Good Living
http://staceyshipman.com/
Stacey Shippman, Owner
A Healthy Balance
http://www.ahealthybalancenutrition.com/home.html
Nikki Tierney, Owner
Mariposa Body Massage and Therapy
http://www.mariposabody.com/
Cindy Doody, Owner
Healthy Options
http://www.healthyoptionscoaching.com/
Sheela Calhoun, Owner
ART/DESIGN
Cut River Gallery
www.cutrivergallery.com
Chris Lewis, Owner
Hawkmoon Studio
www.hawkmoonstudio.com
Michael Coyne, Owner
Everything Emily
www.everythingemily.com
Emily Loverin, Owner
Interiors by Daryce
http://www.interiorsbydaryce.com/home.html
Daryce Morris, Owner
SERVICES/Personal & Business
JKC Design
www.jkcdesign.com
Jada Coyne, Owner
Errands Etcetera
http://www.errandsetcetera.biz/
Stacy Mafera, Owner
South Shore Skin Center
www.southshoreskincenter.com
About Us,
About Us
South Shore Woman
Focusing on the people who energize our community.
We tell the story behind the story!
For more information, contact:
EDITORIAL
Stephanie Neil, Editor
(781) 378-1652
ADVERTISING:
Tracy Coyne, Publisher
(781) 413-6508
Columns,
Summertime Fun & Fitness
Summer is officially here and that means vacation time! So dust off your beach chair and fill your cooler with ice. It’s time to eat fresh fruit, grill hamburgers, and go to your favorite ice cream stand. The sights, sounds and smells of summer are here. So make sure to enjoy them in the ways you know how!
This can be an exciting time with vacations, cookouts, beach days and family gatherings. There is much to do as summer continues to heat up. With all the excitement remember to put on your sunscreen and keep up your fitness routine, even when you travel. Whether you travel for work or for fun, you can stay fit on the road or when you’re short on time. Here are a few tips to help you keep in shape during your stay or vacation.
Lower your expectations – If you spend 1 hour 5 days per week exercising at home, don’t expect to keep that pace on the road. Try to get 20 to 30 minutes of exercise per day (or every other) when you’re on the road.
Have sneakers, will travel – No matter where you go, bring your sneakers and workout clothing. You have no excuse. You made room for it in your suitcase, now use it! Besides, walking is a great way to explore new places.
The diet dilemma – Traveling usually means eating out for every meal. That can be damaging to any waistline. Splurging is ok some of the time, but do you really need that 3-egg omelet with bacon, sausage and pancakes everyday? Try having a bowl of cereal with fruit some mornings, and for dinner try a fresh salad with grilled chicken or fish. You don’t need to eat gourmet everyday! Cutting back on food can also save what’s in your wallet.
Strength training – Yes, you can still strength train while your on the road, and you don’t need to bring any fancy equipment with you. If you do have resistance bands or tubing, bring them! They are easy to pack and easy to use. If not you can use picnic tables, chairs in your hotel room, bottled water (for weight/resistance) and the floor to do exercises like push ups, tricep dips, bicep curls, crunches, squats and lunges. You won’t be throwing weight around like you do at the gym, but when you get home you won’t start from scratch, either.
Try something new – Heading towards the water? Rent a kayak for a great upper body workout or go for a swim. Heading to the hills? Strap on a water pack and some hiking shoes and start climbing. You’ll get exercise and enjoy the new scenery all at the same time!
Be safe – No matter where you go, if you’re not familiar with your surroundings, go out with a buddy. You’ll be safer in pairs or small groups, and you’ll have someone to share the experience with. Plus we all know that working out with a friend is more motivating than going it alone.
Columns,
Peace of Mind
Summer is my favorite season! I yearn to be near the ocean and feel the warmth of the sun, the cool breeze off of the ocean and hear the rush of the water. It always brings me to that peaceful place. Just knowing it is there for me is a reassuring, safe feeling that I truly enjoy. My career, on the other hand, has me dealing with an unpredictable environment, one equivalent to the uncertainty of a weather forecast. I have chosen a path full of volatility and excitement in the investment arena. Although the reactions of investors and the conditions of the market can be erratic, I believe that proper planning can give an investor confidence in both calm and volatile markets.
Everyone has goals and dreams…that most times require some form of funding. We all have varying income, expenses, spending and saving habits, and assets (home, car, income property, investments, etc.). Each of us knows our own ability to tolerate declines in the value of our investments or put simply, how much they are willing to lose, which is termed risk tolerance. All of these factors are paramount to the design of a successful personal financial plan.
It sounds reasonable and relatively easy doesn’t it? But what about those economic pressures and unforeseen events such as an oil spill, a wavering Euro, a war, the housing market, jobless claims, a US government deficit and…well, shall I go on? Couple those uncertainties with a stock market that is driven largely by the emotions of greed and fear. It is truly no day at the beach!
Here are some P.O.M. (Peace of Mind) pointers to think about factoring into your investment habits:
- Be flexible – understand that as changes take place, it may be best for you to consider making some changes in your investments as well. If someone loses their job in your household, you may need to make adjustments in your spending and savings habits. It is the same with investing, if there are unforeseen changes or events that take place, be willing to adjust your plan and investments if necessary in order to keep your personal financial plan on track.
- At the time you purchase an investment, know when you are going to sell it. If an investment goes down in value 20% will you have reached your tolerance for loss or surpassed it? Should an investment double in value, will you keep riding that wave or take some of the money off of the table at a certain level? There are a variety of stop loss and limit orders that can be put in place to help manage your investments.
- Have realistic expectations. Have reasonable expectations of both the growth potential and the possible loss as well. Extreme thinking fueled by emotion can have a significant impact on a portfolio.
- Exercise patience. Be mindful of the assets that are targeted for long term growth. Investments should be allocated into all three asset classes (cash, stocks and fixed income) and you may choose to put some precautionary measures in place, as recommended above. In this way, the volatility of market swings will be less likely to have a huge impact on your portfolio. It may be wise not to react unnecessarily to market news by limiting the time you view your portfolio, possibly once a week, rather than multiple times a day.
Consider the P.O.M. suggestions mentioned and perhaps you will find that peaceful place where you feel safe (by managing your risk) and reassured (that you will achieve your goals). Ah, so feel the warmth of the sun, the coolness of the breeze and hear the splash of the waves as you take steps to chart your course for the future.
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Book Review
A Few Shells . . . Truly, Just a Few
Trips to the grocery store; meals to cook; laundry; commuter trains; soccer practice; baseball games; homework; community and social obligations . . . Familiar? Perhaps I even understated your busy schedule.
It was familiar to Anne Morrow Lindbergh, author of Gift from the Sea, which is a compilation of her thoughts during a week she spent on the shore as a refuge from her hectic life. During her vacation, Anne discovered that the tasks she temporarily escaped were not mere tedium. They were clutter . . . strewn pieces of a fragmented life in which she had lost her center.
There are many words to describe what might or might not be a person’s center. (Love, spirituality, love and spirituality . . .) There is a constant, however: A center continuously thrives. It might become lost amid our daily routines, but uncovered, it is who we are.
“Instead of stilling the center, the axis of the wheel,” Anne wrote, “we add more centrifugal activities to our lives – which tend to throw us off balance.”
At the beginning of her vacation, Anne collected shells along the shore. Her pockets became filled with shells of different shapes, sizes, colors, and textures until the weight was cumbersome. How reflective of her life. The over abundance of shells left her besieged, just as the several disjointed parts of her life did. Through the years, what was extraneous in her life slowly dulled her senses, leaving her overwhelmed with a cloud over her center.
Anne began to discard shells – one by one –until she was left with only a few. She released what was superfluous and she was happy. Anne rediscovered her center: “Simplicity; balance of physical, intellectual, and spiritual life . . . Space for significance and beauty . . . Time for solitude and sharing; closeness to nature . . . creative life and the life of human relationships. A few shells.”
Of course, we must uphold our responsibilities, but we can also contemplate which are necessary and which are not. Perhaps we could, for one year, step down from the PTA; tell our children to choose one sport per season; cook one and only one meal for dinner instead of catering to everyone’s likes and dislikes . . .
When Anne left what became her sanctuary, she held on to her chosen few shells to remind her of her center. She also took with her the knowledge that, paradoxically, one rediscovers her center “when one loses oneself. One must lose one’s life to find it.”
Anne says we constantly face opportunities to rediscover ourselves. But, they go unnoticed and flutter away with the moment in which they came. Anne stresses, however, that we should not look frantically for such opportunities. “We should lie empty, open, choiceless as a beach . . . waiting for a gift from the sea.”
“Choiceless” – some of us have a myriad of them every day. Which Outfit? Which purse? Desktop or laptop? PC or Mac? Which search engine? Which cell phone carrier? We are fortunate for our choices, but sometimes – just sometimes – they redirect us from what is truly important. And sometimes, less choice is a relief.
Anne Morrow Lindbergh’s novel is timeless, but especially poignant today as we hurry from task to task. It beckons us to live more simply so we might rediscover our centers, so we might be at peace, so we might be saved. The idea might seem grandiose, especially with today’s demands. Our schools assign more homework to our children than ever, often making it our homework; our economy demands a dual income in several households; and more. But, we can still remain open to the idea, open not with fear of vulnerability but rather to a gift from the sea.
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Hot Topic: Using your brain
The secret (or not so secret) stay-at-home versus working parent rivalry is a sensitive subject I hesitate to touch. Mostly because I have many friends that I love and admire in various situations, some dictated by choice others by necessity (on both sides of the coin). There are a hundred different disagreements, sides, dilemmas, topics, and emotions that can cause frustration and aggravation even amongst the closest of friends. I have way too many opinions about a number of these and though I aim keep it to myself, one came up very recently that I thought was… interesting.
Two friends were having a conversation, while I was seated beside them. Our other girlfriend who stays home with her children was also in the room. We are all childhood friends and, in a way I sincerely appreciate, are comfortable enough with each other to speak pretty freely in each others company. I’m not saying this is usually in uniform agreement – we are as different as can be, just one of those things that I generally appreciate and comes with long-lasting history. This one falls into the exception.
So one of them is going back to work soon after recently having her first child. She seems eager to go back to work, but financially I don’t think she feels like there is a choice. The other friend has several children and has worked throughout her motherhood on a career-based path. They are in the same field of work and the subject was relatively innocent regarding getting back into the swing of things, what to expect, nerves, etc. Here’s where it got a little interesting…
The conversation morphed into ‘using your brain’. My friend with the new baby has been home for three months. She’s doing a great job but I’ve already sensed that this is a little more than she expected, especially having been on her own for 35 years. Who wouldn’t feel that way? So they started to banter back and forth on how they needed to feel like they were using their brains again. At first it sounded like an explanation, maybe from guilt. Now, I am sitting right next to them. I’ve been a stay at home mom for almost nine years. I recently started my own business but am still my children’s primary care giver.
Our other friend, a brilliant, top-of-her-class stay-at-home mom for almost five. We have been in each other’s lives for twenty to thirty years, this is not a news flash. I didn’t say anything, kept my mouth shut, but it wasn’t easy. Besides being a bit insulting and thoughtless I also found it sort of fascinating. Fascinating that they would say all this in front of us. Fascinating because I know they care about us. Fascinating because they have so little experience in the trenches themselves. They were so matter of fact about it. Now my sensitivity could be getting the best of me –I’m not denying that - but it was pretty close to: you don’t need a brain to stay home and raise a child.
You would think that I was just offended, but I actually almost laughed to myself at their ignorance. And I did weigh in the guilt of wanting to go back to work and the fear of losing yourself in the never-ending bottles and diapers, and all the other emotions you could think of. These are really bright women, but to think that you don’t need to use your brain (to maximum capacity) to be the main caregiver to a child is well… quite frankly - ridiculous. This bothered me more than I wanted it to. I don’t like feeling that way towards friends and it brought up questions and arguments in my own mind for a few days.
Now that I have my thoughts together here’s what I might have said. I probably would have started out with a… Really?? The first three months are a mind-numbing life-altering blur; anyone who’s had a baby knows that. And yes there are many days that you are un-showered, still in your pjs when your spouse gets home, and cannot for the life of you figure out what you did all day except keep that kid alive. But once you get past that early greasy-haired-narcoleptic stage if you’re not using your brain… well…. I feel kind of worried for you and your child. I take my job of being home with my kids very seriously. This is not a stab against working moms or dads. Just an issue with the brainpower needed to pull off decent, though I am striving for spectacular, children. I chose to stay home to raise my children. I’m not looking to just keep them alive. I care if they are happy (and not just satiated in the moment), of good character, well mannered, healthy eaters, good playmates, welcomed houseguests, creative, hard working, etc. Most of us do. I’m going to go as far as to say everyone should. I scheme and plot and plan to keep up with my three very different personalities of children to bring out the best in them every single day. I’m not super woman. I’m not always great at it. But I think about it every single day. That’s why it takes a lot of brain power. At the rate kids grow and their needs and personalities change if you aren’t on your toes and ready for action it’s easy to fail.
I’m not saying I don’t check out every so often. It’s exhausting. I’ve been know to be there in body and not spirit for a week or two here and there. And it’s not just the tedious task of chasing down toddlers, getting teeth brushed and tummy’s fed. -Guiding them daily in the right direction. What to tell them when a boy kisses them on the playground when they’re only eight; a fourth grade bully kicks dirt in their face; how to teach bravery when they’re terrified (and you are too); the challenges are endless and seem to spring out of nowhere every other minute.
So I use my brain every day at my job. I’m not modest: I’m good at it and I still work very hard. Some days I get it right - some days I don’t. I’m never going to get a pay raise, never a cooler job title; no one is giving me a promotion. But every so often I get a bonus; they do something exceptional that I know I had something to do with. And someday… when my kids are grown up and I get to watch them in the world, see what they do with their mistakes and successes, see how they raise their children, all my ‘thinking’ will have paid off. Not just because they’ll be spectacular, and I’m pretty damn sure they will be, but because I didn’t just keep them alive… I thought and thought and thought…. about them.
So forget about all the guilt and worry and crap that comes with beautiful, magical babies. I’m all for saying what you think – about anything. (Seriously after some of the stuff I write could you doubt that??) But I wonder about the justifications some of us make. The things said out loud. I wonder if you really feel that way because you believe it, or if you’re trying to convince yourself to ease the pain in the decisions you’re making?? Or are you just not there yet and still a bit naïve? I always needed to be home with my kids and I always knew it. I don’t know what it’s like to be torn, or feel guilty for not wanting it or (gulp) not valuing it. But I still very much wonder…. Is that what you really, really think??
We’d love to hear what you think!! Join the discussion by adding your comments….
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Bat Company
The sound of slamming doors awakened me from a deep sleep. I sat up, hesitant to move, remembering that my son Brett had been sleeping on the couch in the livingroom. That was the one place in the house that did not evoke his allergies on a visit home. "Brett," I called out somewhat fearfully as banging, slamming sounds continued.
"Don't open the door," came his response. "There's a bat flying around and I'm trying to get it out." I climbed out of bed, moving as if I was about to be attacked by a creature of the night. I hovered near my door, unsure of my role. I was the mother, the head of the household in the three years since my husband's death. I should go and help Brett, but in this case I chose to follow the orders of my oldest child.
The banging stopped. "You can come out now," he announced. He filled me in on the battle of the bat. Asleep, he had sensed movement near his head. Opening his eyes he saw a bat sweeping anxiously around the perimeter of the room, as eager for escape as Brett was to be rid of the uninvited guest. Managing to corner it in an upstairs bedroom, and waving a broom, Brett got the bat to make its way out the window into the night.
While seemingly over, the adventure was really about to begin. "I remember reading somewhere," said Brett. "that it's possible to be bitten by a bat and not be aware of it when asleep." I moved into my mother role. "I'll call the poison control center and see what they say." The call wasn't helpful so the decision was made for Brett to head to the emergency room of the local hospital. When he left, at 2:00 A.M., we both knew the sun would be rising before his return. The emergency room rule of thumb is always a wait of at least three hours. I realized that my daughter, Alyssa, had slept through the entire drama. She would be well rested for the busy weekend ahead. Her brother Jeremy, the middle of my three children, would be graduating from college in a matter of hours. The following day, Sunday, Alyssa would receive her high school diploma.
I had looked forward to this weekend with a mixture of joy and sadness. The pride I felt at my childrens' accomplishments was mingled with sorrow knowing that their dad had not lived.
My mind turned to Jeremy. Where was he? It was 2:00 A.M. He must still be out cruising on his motorcycle. He was the one I'd thought I'd be worrying about, not bats in the night. I had fought against that motorcycle, fearful that every risk would lead to disaster. Hadn't risk, flying in a small plane, led to the most final of all disasters for his dad?
The sound of an engine drew my mind back. Jeremy was home. Brett was not. Until all my troops were safe I would continue to stand vigil. As predicted, Brett returned at sunrise, too late for either of us to sleep. At least he had gotten a clean bill of health.
Cap and gown in hand, Jeremy climbed on the aforementioned motorcycle and headed off for the pregraduation lineup. The rest of us showered, dressed, ate breakfast, and drove into Boston. My brother and sister-in-law were already seated, saving a row of chairs for us. "How are you?" my brother Neil asked, not expecting a dramatic recitation of the night's events. "Don't worry," he said after listening sympathetically. "Bats are harmless. In fact, they eat insects and many people put bat houses in trees to attract them." The sound of Pomp and Circumstance turned our attention to the event at hand. I strained to recognize my son in the sea of black caps and fought the tears gathering behind my eyes. Why does there have to be pain at such a happy time? Sitting between my other two children I try to stay strong, fearing if I let go just a little I will crack into a million pieces and, like Humpty Dumpty, I'll be unable to be put back together again.
One graduation down, one to go. The next day we assemble the same cast of characters, exchanging Alyssa for Jeremy on the podium. Alyssa looks beautiful in her white cap and gown. Again Pomp and Circumstance. Again the tears.
But the bat story is not over. Monday morning the phone rings. The doctor has called to change his recommendation. Any sleeping humans exposed to the possibility of a bat bite should go through the series of rabies shots.
I phone Brett who by now has returned to his apartment in New York. Following the doctor's advice, he begins the series. Worrier that I am, I took the scenerio one step further. Alyssa and I were also asleep and so was Andy, my dog, when the bat was exploring our home. We, too, reported for rabies shots.
I am happy to note that the shots did not hurt as much as I had heard they would. The series is good for 5 years, we were told. With all the stories of rabid skunks, fox, and coyotes in the newspaper, at least I could take rabies off my list of worries for a while.
Next step, bat prevention. I learned that the local pest control businesses did not do bats. A man named Mike, however, was recommended. Mike, as it turned out, was highly sought after. Speaking to his secretary, my voice a mix of despair and horror, I convinced her to get Mike to my house the next day. I was about to meet the real bat man. Fearless, he explored my roof as if he was walking on flat pavement. No poisons are used, he informed me. Wire will be put up around the perimeter of my home, closing up any space between the roof and the sides of the house. Every so many feet a sock-like chute would allow the bats to fly out and feed during the night. Their wing spread would prevent a return entrance. Hundreds of bats, I was told, had taken up residence in the eaves of my home. He encouraged me to stand in my yard at sunset and observe the mass exodus. That was about the last thing I would want to do.
The next morning I stepped gingerly onto my deck, unsure of what I would find. My fear was realized in the form of several bats spinning in disorientation on the deck, several others dangling from the wire in an attempt to get back inside. I felt like I was living in the midst of a horror novel I would not choose to read , an edge of the seat movie I would not choose to attend. At that moment I would gladly have put a "For Sale" sign in my yard, but who would want a house decorated with dangling bats?
One week passed. I thought life was settling back into a predictable pattern, forgetting that the very essence of life is its unpredictability. Sunday had rolled around again. Returning home from a dinner with friends, Alyssa greeted me with the warning "Don't go into my room, Mom. There are more bats there." My heart sank. What were my choices? No husband Sam to fight my battles. I took a deep breath. I climbed the stairs, opened the door.
No bats flying around. Instead 3 bats clung to the wall like a painting of winged rats. I silently closed the door, a plan forming in my head. "Stand at the kitchen door," I commanded Alyssa. "Be ready to open it quickly." I found 3 old towels. Holding them tightly I climbed the stairs as if on a death march. I pushed the door a crack. The scene hadn't changed. Opening a towel I quickly laid it over the first bat and in one motion closed the towel and sprinted down the stairs. Following orders, Alyssa opened the door, and I continued my flight through my yard. My heart was pounding as I threw towel and bat into the woods. I repeated this sequence 2 more times. When I was done I felt as if I had run the marathon.
Somehow the night passed. Alyssa slept in the den, her bedroom apparently the point of entry for any remaining creatures in the eaves. Calling in sick to work Monday morning, I was able to reach Mike's son, Mike Junior. He was a fireman who moonlighted as a carpenter. More begging and pleading got results. That morning the unfinished section of Alyssa's closet was neatly closed up, something the builder of the house had failed to do. Her room was declared safe for human habitation. The battle had taken its toll on me however. While handling a crisis in theory should make one feel empowered, my reality was a feeling of vulnerability, of exhaustion from handling these challenges alone.
Three years have passed since that summer, which I now refer to as the summer of the bats. This spring I had some new guests, mice, over 30 of them in my basement. My friends ask me how I've handled that. I say to them, at least it's not bats.