By   Wed, Feb 04, 2009

Everyone has a book inside of them just waiting to be put on paper. Most likely, it's non-fiction...And, it's all about you! This issue, we profile Anne Roberts, a 'personal historian' who helps you turn your memories into an eye-opening read! (And, maybe even a best-seller!).

We've also got some suggestions for that romantic weekend away this winter...Right in your own backyard. Or, if you want to stay home, there's a nice artichoke AppeTeaser from Chef Perrin!

Jay and Jenna are weighing in on the long winter and true friendship, respectively. And, in Wink South we have some entertaining articles...that may also make you think.

Thanks for checking back in with us!

We'll keep you posted....

By Erin Heffernan   Fri, Nov 12, 2010

To learn; to live; to love . . . Each is a God-given process crucial to our growth as human beings. Each is crucial not only to our universal happiness but also to our courage and eagerness to venture into another day. For many, however, cancer threatens these natural projections that sustain and enrich us, either because they become physically and/or emotionally limited or financially burdened. In October of 2005, Pam Ahl, Rosie Lonborg and Amy Webber of Scituate established the Learn, Live, Love Cancer Outreach Organization (LLL) to help lessen these limitations and burdens on women and their families in local communities. The mission of LLL is to raise money to provide financial assistance to local women hit with the devastation of cancer. The organization also provides those in need with resources, information, networking options and personal support. Pam, Rosie and Amy share a philosophy: “Shared knowledge is power and shared experience is healing.” They strive to empower cancer patients so that the disease does not define their lives. Pam says, “We believe that if a woman’s mind is at ease and her heart is at rest, then she can find the inner peace she so desperately needs for her body to heal.” The Women of LLL and its Inception: Pam Ahl is a Co-founder/Director of LLL. A Scituate resident, she is the Assistant for Pastoral Care at St. Mary of the Nativity Church. Pam is a certified teacher of English and a freelance artist with a studio in Scituate. She is married to Chuck Ahl and together they have two teenage children. Also, Pam is a breast cancer survivor. Rosemary Lonborg is a Co-founder/Director of LLL. She has volunteered at the Dana Farber Cancer Institute in the Jimmy Fund Clinic as a Child Life Specialist for nearly 21 years.  Rosie also brings her experience as a Child Life Specialist into children’s homes as a member of Cranberry Hospice. She is on the board of directors for Survivors of Unexpected Loss in Scituate and Bay State Community Services, which is a nonprofit mental health and drug addiction facility. Rosie is the Director of Religious Education for grade K through 5 at St. Mary of the Nativity Church in Scituate. Rosie is married to Dr. Jim Lonborg, a 15 year veteran of Major League Baseball.  She has 3 sons, 3 daughters and 2 grandchildren.  Amy Webber is LLL’s Business Manager. She is also the accountant and cemetery supervisor for St. Mary of the Nativity Church in Scituate. With Rosie, she is on the board of directors for Survivors of Unexpected Loss. Amy was married to Paul Webber, who died of cancer in 2004. She has two children, two grandchildren, and is engaged to be married to John Ferrie. The Learn, Live, Love Cancer Outreach Organization was born of a conversation between Pam and Rosie in 2005 while Rosie was driving Pam home from a radiation treatment. They discussed together what they could do to turn such a negative experience into a positive one. “I remember being overwhelmed not only by my diagnosis,” Pam says, “but by the outpouring of love, support and encouragement from friends, neighbors and members of the beautiful Scituate community. Rosie and I were reflecting one day on the ride home from one of my treatments how so many women journey through their illness alone and unaided. It just didn’t seem fair. We wanted to do something that would make a difference for them.” Rosie also remembers her thoughts: “Having worked for so many years within the Jimmy Fund Clinic at the Dana Farber Institute allowed me to witness first hand how financial hardship can devastate families with cancer patients. We all know of large research and development organizations . . . but we wanted to offer something different, something personal, something immediate.” The premise was born. Since then, LLL has raised $170,000, benefiting cancer patients in the form of transportation to cancer treatments, payments of medical bills, groceries, informational resources, and so much more. Amy says, “It’s an honor and a privilege to – even in a small way – make a difference by paying a bill. Ultimately, it’s not about the money; it’s about one person helping another. It’s a beautiful thing.” Recently, a 47-year-old mother, who also battles stage-four cancer, wished to undergo an experimental treatment so she might spend one more Christmas with her husband and two sons. Though the treatment was experimental and therefore not costly, this courageous woman, who humbly tried to decline help from LLL, needed to pay an outstanding insurance bill of $1500 just to go to the hospital where the treatment would be administered. She finally accepted help from LLL and was able to undergo the experimental treatment. She will still die, but she was given the gift of just a bit more time, time to spend with her family on Christmas Day. Adrian Morris of Lemon/Lime Aveda Salon We are able to thank Adrian Morris of Lemon/Lime Aveda Salon in Cohasset for $90,000 of the $170,000 raised for LLL. Adrian lost his dear friend, Karen Petrillo, to breast cancer. In a loving effort to commemorate his friend, Adrian holds an annual fund raiser at the River Club and, before the first event four years ago, chose the Learn, Live, Love Cancer Outreach Organization as the recipients of the proceeds. On March 14, 2009, the fifth annual Karen Petrillo Breast Cancer Event hosted by Adrian Morris of Lemon/Lime Aveda Salon and to benefit the Learn, Live, Love Cancer Outreach Organization will raise the roof at – once again – the River Club at 78 Border Street in Scituate. It will be an evening of delectable fare, cocktails, dancing, and high-end live and silent auctions that truly rouse excitement in a crowd. All are welcome!

A Special Thank You to Mark Tocci of Pastene   In 2009, Mark Tocci will celebrate the 135th year of the family run business, Pastene. To commemorate this occasion, he is donating 50% of all of his olive oil sales this year to the Learn, Live, Love Cancer Outreach Organization.

 

By   Wed, Feb 04, 2009

By Jan Perrin   Wed, Feb 04, 2009

 

Drain a can of artichoke hearts

(I save the juice and add it to my marinara)

 

Press your index finger into the center of the artichokes leaving a hollow with the sides in place

Fill hollow with crumbled gorgonzola

(No gorgonzola use feta or mozzarella)

Roll artichoke in flour, covering completely

Next, roll in egg wash

(A couple of whipped eggs with a little salt and pepper)

Next, roll in any seasoned bread crumbs

Submerge in hot olive oil using a fry daddy or a household pan

Remove when golden brown (maybe 3 minutes)

Cut an artichoke in half and serve on some marinara

If you are really romantic... shape your sauce into a heart

Happy Valentine's Day

 

"Cooking is like love. It should be entered into with abandon or not at all."   

-- Harriet Van Horn

By   Tue, Apr 26, 2011

 

 

  SouthShoreWoman.com writes about the local people who follow their passion and build new economic opportunities in our communities. But, whether you have started a popular jewelry line, have an established retail store or restaurant, or offer a unique service, you will always need to reach new customers.

SSW, an online magazine, serves as the perfect venue for businesses that want to go a bit beyond their town borders. Let us help you get your message to the masses by being your vehicle into the larger world of social media.

 

Our affordable promotional packages give you an advertisement on SSW, plus a presence on Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn. In addition to getting directly in front of our audience (there are over a thousand South Shore readers-- that we know of), your business will also be exposed to many of the 750 million Facebook users, 100 million Twitter users, and over 100 million LinkedIn members.

Let's put it this way: Print advertising is dead. Social media is the surest way to gain new customers in this Internet age. Yes, we know, you are running a business! You don't have time to tweet and post all day....

We want you to continue to grow and become social media savvy. Let us help!

 

We offer three packages that appeal to your needs and budget:

Packages:	Premium	Standard	Basic
*Advertisement	Leaderboard graphic (728x90 pixels) OR video (**including link to your website)	Sidebar 1 (300 pixels wide) graphic OR video (**including link to your website)	Either the Sidebar 2 (120 pixels wide) or the Footer (728x90 pixels) graphic (**including link to your website)
Sponsor e-mail	A dedicated e-mail blast to SSW subscribers (about 1,000 members)	A dedicated e-mail blast to SSW subscribers (about 1,000 members)	N/A
Twitter	-Creation of a Twitter handle for your business -Multiple Tweets/day from your business handle and @SoShoWo -Community building through “follows” and “lists”	Multiple Tweets/ week about your business from @SoShoWo	One Tweet/week about your business from @SoShoWo
Facebook	-Creation of a FB page for your business -Multiple posts/day on your page and outreach to community to ‘Like’ your page -Multiple mentions and links to your fan page and website on SoShoWo FB page	One mention/week about your business on the SSW FB page	A couple of mentions/month of your business on the SSW FB page
LinkedIn	Weekly mention of your business within groups that target your customers	Multiple mentions/month of your business within groups that target your customers	One mention of your business within a group that targets your customers
SSW story	If SSW has already done a story on your business, we will update it (text or embed video) and put it on the SSW home page as well as link to it on Facebook and Twitter	If SSW has already done a story on your business, we will link to the archived article on our Facebook page and Twitter, and write a short update to tell our audience what you are up to now	If SSW has already done a story on your business, we will link to the archived article on our Facebook page and Twitter
Reporting       PRICE	At the end of the month you will receive a report on all SM activity and results    $750/month	At the end of the month you will receive a report on all SM activity and results   $500/month	At the end of the month you will receive a report on all SM activity and results   $250/month

                        

 

**Don't have a website? We can build one for you. Contact us for more information.

 *And, if you don't have an advertisement ready to go, we'd be happy to create one for you! (Monthly prices do not include $100 fee for ads created by SSW.)

 

For more information contact: 

Tracy Coyne at dtcoyne@comcast.net  (781) 413-6508

or,

Stephanie Neil at stephanieneil@comcast.net (781) 378-1652

 

 

By Stephanie Neil   Wed, Nov 25, 2009

Maybe it's just the winter blues. But you feel it: Anxiety. Perhaps it's the first time your heart raced for no reason as you spiral into a panic attack in the middle of the grocery store. What for? What's happening? It likely all boils down to stress.

Stress, say experts, is a normal part of everyday life. Sometimes, however, certain things trigger more severe reactions whether it's an argument with your husband, a worry about your son being picked on by a bully at school, a tight deadline at work, a fear about your public speaking engagement next week, your best friend--- and confidante-moving away, physical exhaustion, or the environment (a cold and icy January). Regardless of the reason, out of nowhere you find yourself dizzy and sweating while trying to pay the cashier at Star Market.

While it's normal, it is still really important to learn how to manage stress because it can have a negative effect on health in the form of high blood pressure, heart rhythm disturbances, and a weakened immune system.

The best and easiest way to take control of the situation is through your breath. Slow, deep breathing while sitting in silence-- otherwise known as meditation. You don't have to be a trained yogi to practice meditation you just need to be mindful of your breath which will help you get through the chaos.

"Breath is fuel," says Katrina Klein, owner of the Bikram Yoga School in Cohasset. "It carries oxygen to the muscles and the brain. The lack of [oxygen] results in fatigue." Fatigue leads to stress, she says.

According to Klein, and Jeff Cohen, a martial artist and owner of Cohasset Training Center, the way to move through a stressful situation--- no matter what it may be-is to stop and pay attention to the air flowing into your body. You can even draw a deep long breath in through your nose and slowly blow the air out of your mouth. Just keep your focus on the act of breathing.

And it shouldn't only be done while in the middle of a panic attack, rather, incorporate breathing exercises into your everyday life to manage stress on an ongoing basis. Cohen suggests setting aside five minutes two times a week-or everyday if you like-to sit in silence.  "No reading, no T.V., no music," he says. "Sit in a chair and just be."  It can change the way you feel.

For a more formal approach to your stress management program, try Bikram Yoga which is a series of postures that includes stretching, balancing, and creating pressure-a tourniquet effect-which when released allows blood to rush through the veins and arteries flushing them out and moving fresh oxygenated blood through the body. The health benefits range from a better cardiovascular, digestive, skeletal, and nervous system, among other things, as well as tranquility, being peace of mind.

Learning how to breathe through the moment is also taught in the Bikram practice.

"When you are feeling anxious, if you can slow yourself down by focusing on slow, deep breathing, it will help calm you," Klein says. "And if you can carry that [capability] out of yoga class into daily life, you are tapping into an empowerment that leads to peace."

So the next time the kids, your spouse, your job, or life in general has you in a panic: Just Breathe!

For more information on Bikram Yoga, go to: www.bikramyogacohasset.com

 

By Stephanie Neil   Wed, Feb 04, 2009

There's more to you than meets the eye. You know that. Does everyone else? Especially the people who matter most, like your children, your extended family, and your closest friends?

There's a line in Sue Monk Kidd's book, The Secret Life of Bees, in which she writes: "Stories have to be told or they die, and when they die, we can't remember who we are."

Anne Roberts, a trained personal historian, agrees, noting it only takes two generations to lose the stories. If stories-life experiences-are not retold, they are gone. "It means your children's children will never really know you," she says.

Anne, a teacher of special needs adolescents, recently took on the job of writing biographies on everyday people. If you think about it, biographies of famous people are often best sellers, but you don't have to be famous to have lived a fascinating life. Hidden within the minutia of our existence are some of life's greatest revelations.

By sitting down with you once a week for ten weeks and recording the conversations, a personal historian can take you on a journey into your past. It is often an eye-opening experience that is both rewarding and cathartic.

Anne is a member of the Association of Personal Historians (APH), a non-profit international network of skilled professionals passionate about preserving life stories. She has been trained on the techniques required to elicit information and turn those tales into a compelling memoir.

Each individual's story unfolds differently, as you don't always start at the beginning, Anne says. People usually defer to what they want to remember. Which is why the investigation also entails unearthing photo albums, letters, and memorabilia-the clues that piece together the past in order to help us uncover who we are in the present.

"From the beginning of time people told stories trying to remember, pass along and preserve the events of their lives, whether it be their adventures, their struggles, or their joys," Anne says.

Many people say they will write their own life story, but never do because life itself gets in the way. In addition, in this electronic age where multitasking and text messaging are  the norm, people forget to connect with those who matter most.

"Why do we know more about Madonna than we do about our own mother, much less our grandmother?" Anne says. "I am, or I was, guilty of this too."

A Remarkable Mother

A few years ago, Anne embarked on her own personal mission to learn more about her mother, Mary Elizabeth. It was a bit of an accident, she admits. Her father had just passed away and Anne was trying to teach her mother how to live as a widow, which meant keeping up with paperwork-mail, bills, filing bank account information. Every now and then, however, Mary Elizabeth would lean back while gazing out the window and say, "Did I ever tell you the story about..."

They were small stories, but ultimately monumental. Collectively, these little bits of information were the mosaic of memories that make Mary Elizabeth unique. Everyone knows the big things: Mary Elizabeth, for example, was a dedicated wife and the mother of seven children. But, like all of us, there is much more to this life we live than those pillars that we feel define us. But too often we dismiss the tiny aspects of us-or interactions we have-- as 'unimportant'.

Take cousin Phil, who Mary Elizabeth relayed this story about:

"One time I was walking down the street with Betty Ann's brother, Phil. I was happily chewing my gum and enjoying the day when suddenly Phil asked me for my gum. I surrendered it to him; he put it on the end of the stick and stuck it down into a grated water drain on the street to retrieve a quarter. I was out of gum and didn't even get the quarter!"

Anne didn't think much of the information at the time she heard it, as she was more interested in teaching her mother essential things, like how to deal with the household she was now in charge of. 

"But then as I drove home that day wondering if she was ever going to learn how to file correctly, I would think back to the story she had just told me," Anne says. "Who was this cousin Phil of hers? What a smart guy using her gum to retrieve a shiny quarter lost down a grated water drain. As a matter of fact, I never knew my mother even chewed gum.... Call it serendipity, call it coincidence, but by slowly dipping in and asking those questions, what was about to unfold was the life story of a real, whole person....a remarkable woman - not just my mother."

Even a seemingly innocuous memory can have a huge emotional effect on a person's life. And these are the events that Anne captured in her published book, All About M.E., the biography of Mary Elizabeth Hayes Tucker.

At first Mary Elizabeth resisted relaying the many facets of her life, she admits. "Not that I was hiding anything in the family," she says. "But I thought, what good will it do for me, for her, or the rest of the family?"

Anne would sit there with a tape recorder in hand and Mary Elizabeth would suddenly have no stories to tell. But with the recorder out of sight-hidden, not gone-she began to open up. Soon, the process took on a life of its own.

"The daughter with whom I shared these tales enjoyed listening. Then she asked questions which brought out more stories," Mary Elizabeth says. "As time went on, I realized this was fun and it is good to know that all of my children will have a feeling of who their mother was. Someone who didn't just raise children."

When finished, the book was given to everyone in the family, but perhaps it was the voyage back in time that meant the most. "Anne and I had a lot of laughs and a lot of tears," Mary Elizabeth remembers.

So, why is capturing your story so important?

"Just sit for a minute. You can feel it. There is a loud clamoring in the world for hope, for purpose, for understanding," Anne explains. "So much of what we can be taught can be learned from our own living ancestors. We can hear about what they faced, learn from the decisions they made, the roads they took, and the way their lives unfolded. We grow stronger from knowing what they held on to and we realize we are not alone in our groping for answers. What a treasure to be able to pass their strengths and life lessons on. What better gift can you give your family?"

It is a gift. Of course, there is a price to pay. The work of a personal historian is extremely labor intensive as it includes interviewing, transcribing the audio tape, organizing and editing the stories, and publishing a customized book. Many people opt for only the audio portion of the reporting exercise, as it costs less than a print product, and voice is a powerful way to bring back the memory of a person. But photos and the written word complete the picture.

Regardless of the approach, having a biography is a valuable investment.  "It's more than a memoir, it's a way to connect generations," says Anne.

For more information on creating the story of your life, contact Anne Roberts at: tuckeranne@verizon. 

 

By   Tue, Oct 12, 2010

Tracy Coyne and Stephanie Neil, co-founders of SouthShoreWoman.com, were recently guests on Teri Sica's talk show "Discovering Authenticity". The two talk about friendship, starting a business, and what SSW can do for you. Take a listen!

Here's the link: http://www.959watd.com/discoveringauthenticity/DiscoveringAuthenticityShow29.mp3

More WATD/SSW interviews: 

11/20/2010: Jay Cole, owner of Riva restaurant recently sat down with Teri to talk about starting a business and being SSW's Male Muse. Tune in here: http://www.959watd.com/discoveringauthenticity/DiscoveringAuthenticityShow34.mp3

And, to read Jay's Male Muse columns, click here! http://southshorewoman.com/author/jay-cole

 

12/4/2010: Stephanie Neil talks with Teri about turning challenges into opportunities and the life lessons along the way.  http://www.959watd.com/discoveringauthenticity/DiscoveringAuthenticityShow36.mp3

 

 

By   Sat, Oct 02, 2010

 

 

 

SSW Business Members

 (Click on the company name to read their stories here on SSW, then visit their websites to learn more about these local companies.)

 

 

FOOD (Restaurant, Catering, and Personal Chef Services)

 

Beach Fire Restaurant, Hull
http://www.beachfirehull.com/

Riva Restaurant, Scituate
www.rivarestaurant.net
Jay Cole, Owner

The Fieldston Restaurant, Marshfield
http://www.thefieldston.com/
Jan Perrin, Owner

JennaCAKES
Jenna.perette@yahoo.com
Jenna  Perette, Owner

Scarlet Oak Tavern, Hingham
www.scarletoaktavern.com
Jed and Josh Webber, Owners 

Aoyama, Marshfield
781-837-6990 

The Chef’s Table
http://www.thechefstableonline.com/index.html
Mark and Julie Ellis, Owners 

Fruit Center Marketplace
http://www.fruitcentermarketplace.com/ 

Oro Restaurant, Scituate
www.ororestaurant.com
Jill and Robin King, Owners 

Orta Restaurant, Pembroke
www.ortarestaurant.com
Jimmy Burke and Joanie Wilson, Owners 

Beach Plum Baking Company
http://www.beachplumbaking.com
Jennifer Love, Owner 

Barker Tavern, Scituate
www.barkertavern.com 

Savor: A Personal Chef Service
www.savorathome.com
Meghan Haney, Personal Chef & Owner

 

Cuisine by Darlene

Darlene Calcagno, Personal Chef & Owner

781-878-9700

www.cuisinebydarlene.com

Darlene@cuisinebydarlene.com

 

The Backyard Burger Bar

Joanie Wilson, Owner

 

 

SPECIALTY SHOPS

Harborlight Toy Company
146 Front Street (Welch Company Bldg), Scituate
781-544-5487, website coming soon!
Jerry & Kelly Burke, Owners

 

Almar Building and Remodeling

Allison Quinn Guido, General Manager

www.almarbuilding.com

781-826-2577

 

Hingham Sewing School

Alexis Kletjian

www.hinghamsewingschool.com

617-549-6755

 

APPAREL/ACCESSORIES

 Sealore Designs
http://www.etsy.com/shop/sealoredesigns?page=1
Michelle Murphy, Owner 

Roaring Stones
http://www.roaringstones.com/
Casey Kerr, Owner 

SpitDudes
http://spitpermit.com/
Andy White, Owner

Crystals n Pearls
http://www.crystalsnpearls.com/
Carolyn Cattaneo, Owner

Boot Chic
www.bootchic.com
Kim O’Connor, Owner 

Babushka Style
http://www.babushkastyle.com/
Rebecca Pimentel, Owner 

 

Ring by Ring Designs

Bev Carlson, Jewelry Designer

www.ringbyringdesigns.com

info@ringbyringdesigns.com

 

 

FASHION/STYLE

 

Ready Set Style

Eva Gaiardelli, Owner/Fashion Stylist

www.readysetstyle.com

 eva@readysetstyle.com; 617-433-8295 

 

Earth Tones Salon

Tracey Leahy, Owner

www.earthtoneshairsalon.com

 

Charlotte & Company, Hairstylists & Makup Artists

Charlotte Phinney, Owner

www.charlottephinney.com

 

Mary Kay

Shakira Perry, Independent Beauty Consultant

www.marykay.com/sperry41822

617-653-6796

 

 

FUN

East Coast Hui
http://www.eastcoasthui.com/Home.html
Bobby Fenton

 

HEALTH/FITNESS/SPA

Stacey Shipman, Feel Good Living
http://staceyshipman.com/
Stacey Shipman, Owner

A Healthy Balance
http://www.ahealthybalancenutrition.com/home.html
Nikki Tierney, Owner

Mariposa Body Massage and Therapy
http://www.mariposabody.com/
Cindy Doody, Owner

Healthy Options
http://www.healthyoptionscoaching.com/
Sheela Calhoun, Owner

 

Perpetual Motion

www.perpetualmotionbody.com

Jennifer McGilvray, owner

 

Dolce Med Spa & Boutique

www.DolceMed.com

Tracey Lively, President/Owner

781-792-0919

 

Spa-tique Day Spa

www.spatique.biz

781-837-1850

 

South Shore Healing Center

Martha Tassinari, PT/CST

781-934-0100

www.southshorehealing.com



 

 

 

ART/DESIGN

Cut River Gallery
www.cutrivergallery.com
Chris Lewis, Owner 

Hawkmoon Studio
www.hawkmoonstudio.com
Michael Coyne, Owner

Everything Emily
www.everythingemily.com
Emily Loverin, Owner 

Interiors by Daryce
http://www.interiorsbydaryce.com/home.html
Daryce Morris, Owner 

 

 

 

SERVICES/Personal & Business

JKC Design
www.jkcdesign.com
Jada Coyne, Owner 

Errands Etcetera
http://www.errandsetcetera.biz/
Stacy Mafera, Owner 

South Shore Skin Center
www.southshoreskincenter.com 

Fastteks
We travel to home or business for all computer services.
www.fastteks.com

 

 

 

Admins& Errands

 

Concierge Service

Gennie Litchfield Murphy & Chrissy Sladen McCormack, Owners

www.adminsanderrands.com

 

 

 

 

By Jenna Perette   Wed, Feb 04, 2009

Q:  I found out my best friend has been talking about me behind my back. Why? What do I do? Should I not trust her anymore?

 

Jenna: The best way to handle this is not to pretend that nothing is wrong. At the same time, don't get defensive, or accuse her of something that, right now, is just a rumor. Right?

First of all, think about the source of the information. Who told you this? Can you trust her or him? Give your best friend the benefit of the doubt, first. Weed out the source. If they are people known to be trouble-makers, then you should proceed with caution! Maybe this person/people who told you your friend is backstabbing you is just looking to stir something up for the fun of it. Or maybe, they have something against her, or you. So don't jump to conclusions.

Instead, talk to your friend and tell her that you heard something that she said about you. Ask if it is true. And, maybe it is. It could be that your friend is mad because you talked to her boyfriend, or didn't go to her sleepover the other night...It could be something silly. And yes, perhaps she said something in anger. But that doesn't mean she's not to be trusted. It just means you need to talk to her so that you understand what's wrong.  It's always best to talk things out!!!

Confront her-in a nice way.  If she denies it, and seems genuine in her reaction that she would never ever talk about you, then let it go. Or, if she admits it, but apologizes and explains why she did what she did, you might want to overlook it-this time (if it happens again, she's not being truthful with you). And if she admits it but doesn't have a good reason, and tries to turn it around against you, well, then maybe she's not your real friend. Maybe she's jealous.

 

And if that's the case, think about the reasons why she might be talking about you. Is she upset because you are hanging out more with another friend? Did you spend a little too much time on the phone talking to her new love interest-- even though you were talking about her?

 

The point is, you need to find out if she really is saying stuff to hurt you, or just wants to get your attention. The worst case scenario is if what is being said is ruining your reputation. Now you need to make some serious decisions.

 

Bottom line: Friends don't hurt friends.

So, think about the source of the information first, then ask her, listen, and don't accuse. Give it a few days and then make a decision as to whether this person is truly your real friend or not. Relationships change. The girl who was your best friend in second grade may be different in seventh grade. Perhaps you'll drift apart only to realize how much you have in common when you hit high school. Or, perhaps you never reconnect.

 Regardless, don't buy in to the drama!  It's always a good decision to rise above the chaos and stay true to the good person you know you are!!!

 

                                             TTYL,

                                             Jenna

 

 

 

 

By Jay Cole   Wed, Feb 04, 2009

 

            Me? I love this time of year!  I love the trees that are trying like hell with all their tiny little buds. I love the birds that are starting to stir and chirp in the early morning.  I even love buying grass seed at Lowe's and noticing how the sun is perched a little differently in the sky.  Early spring gives me a new pulse, a new rhythm, and as a restaurant guy, a bartender and a writer, I love seeing similar tendencies within the people who come out for drinks and dinner.  

I love how women, mostly mature women, wear their excitement for spring on their sleeves. These women start wearing pinks, yellows and lighter shades of green come late February and they have no problem at all being loud about how they "just can't wait" for summer to arrive. These women pay closer attention to salads with vinaigrettes and those lighter entrees, not because they're fat or slightly over weight, but because it seems to coincide with their choice in fashion and, of course, spring.  A salad just seems to look better with a yellow turtleneck and a peach colored Polo- you can almost smell spring in the air when you see this sort of lady eating this sort of food. These women are priceless- they are excited as hell with their brighter shades of lipstick and they've already made the seasonal switch from merlot to their summer chardonnay.

But then you have another kind of woman who just really doesn't care what anyone else thinks of her during this time of year, but that's not to say she dresses down. She's sophisticated and classy. She's professional and friendly.  She doesn't really have seasonal tendencies with her dress, but she sure does like to eat, especially if the food is good!  For example, last week four women in their 30's came in to Riva for dinner and they all decided to have braised lamb shank with a rich mission fig sauce over gorgonzola mashed potatoes.  They had two bottles of red wine, they rolled up their sleeves, tucked their napkins into their collar, and they ate like the boys do on super bowl Sunday.  And let me just say it was truly awesome to see women eat the way they want to eat, minus all the stereotypes and clichés about a woman's fashion and her appetite.  It was just great to see a lady pick up a shank, work it over, wash it down, and then unsnap her top button when it was all said and done.

So, basically this little rant of mine comes down to recognizing how people tend to comfort themselves differently this time of year. Some people comfort themselves with clothes and fashions that simply reek of a season they are longing for, while others seek comfort within the food they eat and the company they share.  I love both these kinds of people because they simply don't care what other people think! These people are going to eat, drink and wear what they want, when they want, and how they want.  These people are my kind of people indeed because they remind me that I have one of the coolest jobs in the world- I get to hang out with people who have no problem with being themselves.     

By Kathleen Sullivan   Wed, Feb 04, 2009

 

We can put a man on the moon and find cures for disease, so why is it so difficult for a woman to find a pair of pants that fit?  I hear the same complaint almost every day.  Most women are in the same, frustrating position.  Have you ever had a friend recommend her favorite jeans because the fit is amazing, only to find that you can’t get them over your thighs or you need a noose to eliminate the gap around the waist?  This scenario leaves you screeching from the dressing room and more frustrated than you were before you started.  Everyone has a part of their body that they are not happy with or that is considered a problem area.  Two friends can weigh the same, but be built very differently resulting in completely different fit needs. The task is to learn how to work with your so-called “flaws” and dress to accentuate the positive. 

 

It will be a bit easier to find the right fitting pant if you learn to recognize and understand your body type.  You need to determine your needs before you tackle any shopping assignment.  Your Body Type is a general description or your shape and how you carry your weight (regardless of whether you are carrying a little extra).  You cannot change your body type (believe me I’ve tried), you must accept it and move on.  A body type is most easily categorized into two distinct groups; Apples and Pears.

 

The Apple generally has narrow hips, slim legs, an undefined waist and possibly a flatter behind.  The Apple is also described as having an athletic or boyish figure.  The Pear, also called “bottom-heavy”, has a slender neck, narrow shoulders, shapely waist, generous lower hips and full thighs.  Also important in the search for fit is understanding your torso length.  Having a short torso, or being short-waisted, is recognized as having less room in the mid-section and common to be thicker in the middle.  A short torso often, not always, coincides with an apple shape.  A long torso, or being long-waisted, has more room in the midsection.

 

A few suggestions that may help with your body type…

 

If you are an apple…you actually have a figure made for stylish pants.  The choice is yours, as most styles will work.  A low-rise pant or jean (sits at or just below the hip) with a boot cut will work well and elongate your waist.  The newer Trouser pant and jean will look fabulous on you.  Leave the hem a bit longer, wear them with a slight heel, and you will look taller and leaner than you can imagine.

 

If you are a pear…wear flowing fabrics to de-emphasize hips and a bootleg or slight flare to help balance the ample hip and thigh area.  No pleats, ever, across your widest parts.  (Why would a designer create pleats adding bulk to our bellies?)  Stay away from a higher waist, big butts can become bigger (yikes!).  A wide waistband creates the illusion of a smaller one.

 

If you have a short torso… snug waistbands or a pant rise too high or too low will create the dreaded “muffin top”.  Always a fashion “don’t”.

 

If you have a long torso…low rise pants may be too low and you risk exposing more than you care to.  The longer tops and tunics that are popular now are your friend.  They cover any unwanted gaps and help camouflage the long middle.

 

For all body types...

 

Avoid pants that are too tight.  Not only are they uncomfortable, they accentuate figure flaws.  Remember, we are trying to hide these flaws.  Your ego may not want you to go up a size, but I guarantee the pant will be more flattering and you will look like you’ve lost weight.  If the size tag really bothers you, tear it out, nobody will know.

 

Don’t be discouraged!!  No two pairs of pants are alike.  They all must be tried on.  If you are searching for jeans, the washing and fading process can change the fit and size you wear.  It is best to try pants on when you are not distracted by time, children or your cell phone (unless you need to phone a friend for emotional support).  Wearing the correct undergarments will help you get a better feel for the fit.

 

A monochromatic outfit (dark top, dark bottom) will create a lean and flattering look.  Dark bottoms are always our friends.

 

Flap back pockets can work for all body types, they can enhance a flatter behind and camouflage a fuller one.

 

Almost all pants need to be tailored or hemmed.  (I believe the designers and tailors of this world are in a get-rich-together scheme.)  If you find the right fitting pant except for the length, BUY IT, or buy two for that matter.  Find a seamstress that will alter using the original hem and you won’t lose the stylish look of the pant.  Always wash and dry the item (if that is how you will care for it in the future) before it is altered. 

 

In the end, the ultimate goal is to accept your body type, shop to enhance the positives and celebrate your personal victory when you find the perfect pant.  I didn’t say it was going to be easy.  If it’s important to you, then it’s worth a little extra effort.  Good Luck!

By Maryann Boulter   Wed, Feb 04, 2009

 

 

In these tough economic times, many people are opting not to take a vacation because they’re afraid to spend the money, the sentiment being, “I could be out of a job in a year.”  True, true.  And, completely understandable, to be sure.  But my sentiment is, “I could be dead in a year.”  (Just saying.  Not that I’m planning on it.)  So I’m taking that vacation, damnit.  I’m just going to hang out in Fort Lauderdale, but supposedly, you can get some pretty good deals on cruises and theme parks.

 

Speaking of theme parks, it may be hard to believe, but Disney World announced layoffs.  Now, before you panic and call the travel agent to cancel, let’s think about this, shall we?  Who is going to get laid off at Disney World?  Cinderella?  Mickey Mouse?  Pluto?  A Tinkerbell-free Magic Kingdom?  (You’ll have to get your pixie dust from a dealer on the corner.)  And I, for one, would really miss the Peter Pan ride, whose pirate ships would fly no more because the ride operator got sacked.

 

What would be the sense in going to Disney World only to discover that the once-ubiquitous characters are no more?  A Disney World devoid of thematic correlation, if you will.  Then they might as well get rid of the Disney mouse-ear hats and those $9 ice creams shaped like Mickey’s head, as they would only serve as dismal reminders of what once was to the woebegone tourists wandering blindly amidst the tumbleweeds blowing through Imaginationland.

 

Do you have any idea what this will do to the kids?  Shock and awe, that’s what.  Why, it’s unconscionable -- that’s what it is.  Sure, times will be tight for Disney, but the child psychologists will be raking in millions.  And believe you me, the folks at Disney know this.

 

So take heart, for there is good news to be had -- and a refreshing change (unless, of course, you’re in upper-level management at Disney).  For it is upper-level management being bounced, not Tigger and not Joe Blow the ride operator.  As Disney World and Disney Land merge their operations, some of the marketing and business development executives will be taking the hit, leaving Mickey, Goofy and the gang to work another day.  The Alice in Wonderland teacup ride will continue to spin children senseless.  And the theme song at the “It’s A Small World” ride will continue to get on your last nerve into the foreseeable future.

 

If you’ve any disposable income to spare, you might want to head down to Orlando and throw some of it the way of the Walt Disney Company to prop ‘em up.  And lose the guilt; think of all the money you’ll save on your kid’s college education.  Because there’s an important lesson here to be learned.

 

What’s the lesson here, kids?  Have no aspirations.  Stay at the bottom, where it’s safer.

By Erin Heffernan   Wed, Feb 04, 2009

My ten-year-old son has Asperger Syndrome, which is in the Autism Spectrum.  He does, however, function quite well, almost mainstreamed with his peers. He is socially challenged, somewhat reclusive, obsessive, blunt to the point of embarrassment, and has to wear earplugs in school because the noise incapacitates him. Oh . . . I almost forgot: he only eats macaroni. My son is also handsome, loving, affectionate, sensitive, highly intelligent and enthusiastic about his main interest: movies. Each of these qualities, negative or positive, is endearing to me. Colin is Colin: He is my son.

The line, however, between photographer and mother has blurred in the face of this syndrome. Colin did not receive an official diagnosis of Asperger Syndrome until last summer; he had a broader diagnosis of "globally developmentally delayed." Within this diagnosis, he presented with two or three symptoms of Autism, one of which is a strange attachment to an odd object. When Colin was a toddler and a preschooler, he not only ate only macaroni, but he also had to carry a box of macaroni at all times. He slept with a box of macaroni; he brought a box of macaroni in his backpack to preschool every day; he played outside holding a box of macaroni; and he took a box to the beach.

This attachment did not bother me . . . that is, until I wanted to take a perfect portrait of my three children together. People compliment me on my patience when photographing children. These people, however, never saw me photograph my own children. One specific incident taught me that, no matter what, sitting for a portrait should never be torture. (Torture can, after all, undermine art.) Through my viewfinder, both of my sons were striking in their matching, royal blue and navy sweaters and with freshly cut "regular-boy" haircuts. My daughter wore the perfect ensemble complimentary to the royal blue and navy sweaters. I had blown her hair dry, something I only did on special occasions.

The autumn leaves covered our yard in brilliant color. The Mums were plump, having exploded in girth just the day previous. Just as I was about to press the shutter button, Colin revealed a box of macaroni from behind his back. He refused to set it aside. I fought him, yelling sentences that began with phrases like "just this once . . ." and "after all I have done for you  . . ." After 15 minutes of my wild behavior, only broken by my attempts to bribe Colin, I sat on the ground and surrendered with a heavy sigh.  I wanted to cry; all that I had envisioned for my children's portrait would not come to fruition.

But, when I surrendered, the children relaxed. They began to play with each other, giggling and falling on top of one another. I saw hands that clenched leaves wave in the air; I saw feet in the air; I saw tiny noses pop into sight as they made their way from beneath leaf piles. I still wanted to cry, but not because I was angry or disappointed. I was taken by how beautiful they were in their natural states, box of macaroni included.

I took a picture that remains a favorite, a picture of my young, innocent children being just that . . . children, one of which, at the time, looked most natural holding a box of macaroni. When I look at the picture today, I feel happy and nostalgic.  And then I think to myself, "Colin is Colin with every quirk: He is - very simply - my son."